Lunes, Pebrero 13, 2012

Seasons of seasonal sadness.

Alright, February is truly the seasons of love…although I’m not into a relationship right now, I still wanted to think and maybe believe that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples but also for people who still believe that LOVE is still the next best thing on earth, single, loveless or in a relationship, married or divorce or whatever. (You may agree or disagree)

I’ve been thinking lately about what could’ve been, if my love story was written a different way. Or if only I didn’t rush into everything, maybe I am married by now, or in a relationship with my soon to be husband. But with all these craziness running into my head, I want to believe that my destiny is already written, right before it happened....but of course it's not yet the end.

I have to say that until now, I regret the times; I didn’t listen to my parents. I didn’t listen to my friends and if I did, maybe it turned out to be a different story. But then again, I am thankful, because God gave me a special gift, who will love me unconditionally and the one person who would always made me feel love and special…and that is my Son.

But I can’t help having this sudden attack of what I call the seasonal sadness; sorry because I’m so emotional like that, and I can’t help being lonely whenever, someone significant/close to me is getting married, anything about being in a relationship is like a panic button to my emotional heart. (I am not bitter; please don’t tell me I am) I just can’t help feeling this because of my son…and OK being pressured because I am waiting for 28 gazillion years to be married.(since I was born...haha exxage)

My son is just two years old and still has a lot of growing up to do. And each day, I fear of my son’s future question. I fear of telling him how the love story of me and his father turned out to be the nightmare I never wanted to remember. I fear everyday of several questions popping into my head and the answer I am afraid to give. And of course, I wouldn’t deny the fact that I would love to walk in an aisle with my future husband, and to be in love over and over again. I would like to think that my love story has not ended yet, because God really takes time creating the beautiful things…and for sure..My moment will surely come and will worth the wait.

They say that it takes one stupid person to fall in love, and one stupid person to make it work.- chos..

And just before posting this to my blog, a friend of mine message me… (I colored my name black and violet for my friend..for privacy)

Don’t you worry Paw (that’s how we call each other) you will be the first person next to my mom to know pag may nabiktima na ako LOL.  =)

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