Seasons of Love....my seasonal sadness.

Alright, February is truly the seasons of love…although I’m not into a relationship right now, I still wanted to think and maybe believe that Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples but also for people who still believe that LOVE is still the next best thing on earth, single, loveless or in a relationship, married or divorce or whatever. (You may agree or disagree)

I’ve been thinking lately about what could’ve been, if my love story was written a different way. Or if only I didn’t rush into everything, maybe I am married by now, or in a relationship with my soon to be husband. But with all these craziness running into my head, I want to believe that my destiny is already written, right before it happened....but of course it's not yet the end.

I have to say that until now, I regret the times; I didn’t listen to my parents. I didn’t listen to my friends and if I did, maybe it turned out to be a different story. But then again, I am thankful, because God gave me a special gift, who will love me unconditionally and the one person who would always made me feel love and special…and that is my Son.

But I can’t help having this sudden attack of what I call the seasonal sadness; sorry because I’m so emotional like that, and I can’t help being lonely whenever, someone significant/close to me is getting married, anything about being in a relationship is like a panic button to my emotional heart. (I am not bitter; please don’t tell me I am) I just can’t help feeling this because of my son…and OK being pressured because I am waiting for 28 gazillion years to be married.(since I was born...haha exxage)

My son is just two years old and still has a lot of growing up to do. And each day, I fear of my son’s future question. I fear of telling him how the love story of me and his father turned out to be the nightmare I never wanted to remember. I fear everyday of several questions popping into my head and the answer I am afraid to give. And of course, I wouldn’t deny the fact that I would love to walk in an aisle with my future husband, and to be in love over and over again. I would like to think that my love story has not ended yet, because God really takes time creating the beautiful things…and for sure..My moment will surely come and will worth the wait.

They say that it takes one stupid person to fall in love, and one stupid person to make it work.- chos..

And just before posting this to my blog, a friend of mine message me… (I colored my name black and violet for my friend..for privacy)

Don’t you worry Paw (that’s how we call each other) you will be the first person next to my mom to know pag may nabiktima na ako LOL.  =)

Back after a month long Hiatus.

I feel like I owe everyone a little bit of an explanation, on why this blog has been in a month long Hiatus. Let me share what’s been happening to my life lately.

The last week of December is the most stressful week I ever encountered for the last 27yrs of my life. Yes, that’s how exaggerated it was. We were almost going live with our second project until the client says no to us. The data migration and the parallel phase were suddenly cut when we were almost at the verge of saying woohoo to this project. And because of this we need to rework everything and go back to user acceptance testing part.

The first week of January is supposedly the birth of my 365 days blog project but due to my “hectic” schedule, I have to pass on this. I feel so sorry for myself, because I feel like a loser. A loser because, my project didn’t push through on its original live date, plus I suck updating my blog, and the fact that I cannot even spend time with my son, family and friends.

With all this stress, and the pressure, I was diagnosed with an unhealthy heart. I have to give up living unhealthy by eating delicious foods, drinking after work, smoking, stress and a lot more. It’s hard when you know your stress at work, and at the same time sick.

Hopefully, everything will work out fine, I’m starting living healthy by doing cardio exercises, and eating less than usual. Mostly greens and fruits is the majority food inside my fridge. Although, the stress with work, will never go away until we go live on March, I am still praying that everything will be back to normal, if not now….soon.

Ps. I am starting to think of turning the 365days project into 12mos project by putting the significant pictures I had every month. I’m hoping that I can do the update every month. Also, I will be deleting the website and will try to update you every once in awhile. Be healthy everyone. Miss you all.